


to love and be loved

by thefadingone



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, F/F, Historical Inaccuracy, Mutual Pining, Strangers to Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 20:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18698386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefadingone/pseuds/thefadingone
Summary: "the heart of a man is a simple one, and all that it loves is a woman."





	1. i.

**Author's Note:**

> "when i see her,” i said, “it’s like - i don’t know what it’s like. it’s like i never saw anything at all before." - sarah waters, tipping the velvet.

She remembers when she first saw the other.

It was one day in summer, and Jiwoo had been wandering in the gardens of the estate while her mother had tea with the guests. The estate was large, perfect for hiding away from all the conversations that her mother and the guests had, even though she was of the age where the conversations should interest her most. She pulls up the bottom of her dress as she walks across the grass, looking up at all the clouds in the clear blue sky. She hadn’t been paying attention, not really, when she had spotted her. The other used her arms which were covered in long white gloves, up to her elbow, as a pillow as she rested on the freshly cut tree trunk. Her hair was in a carefully braided bun, just hidden a bit under her large white hat covered on flowers. Her lips were a fainted pink, her dress a pale baby blue, and Jiwoo feels her world pause.

The woman breathes slowly, sitting on the ground, napping on the tree trunk, and Jiwoo can’t help it. She gasps, quietly not to wake the woman, but raises a hand to her heart. She hears the sounds of birds in the distant trees, of bees buzzing around them, but they all become muffled noise as she focuses on her heartbeat.

 _Why I,_ Jiwoo thinks, clutching onto the fabric of her dress above her heart. _I’ve never seen anyone like her. Never,_ she thinks as she quickly jumps and hurries away as the woman moves, back towards the estate. Her heart would not calm.  

_Never._

*

Jiwoo walks around the estate and changes her grass-stained shoes with another before she joins her mother to bid the guests a farewell. As she descends the stairs, she hears the laughter of the women, before they come into view for her. She walks down each step, holding onto the wooden rail, and they all turn to look at her. “Ah, my Jiwoo,” her mother coos as Jiwoo continues her descent, walking next to her mother. Her mother smiles at her places a cool hand on Jiwoo’s shoulder.

“This is my one and only daughter, isn’t she lovely.” There are sounds of agreement, and Jiwoo looks at all of their faces until she meets the face of the woman she had seen before. Her breathe hitches, and she suddenly can’t stop herself from fixing her hair that hangs over her shoulder. The woman gives her a small smile, one she returns back while trying not to let her cheeks turn pink. Each woman shakes her hand and introduces themselves before she is face-to-face again with the woman from before.

“Kim Jungeun.” Her voice is sweet, like freshly made apple-pie, and Jiwoo watches as the woman sticks her gloved hand out. Jiwoo swallows before she smiles back.

“Kim Jiwoo.” She takes her hand, and even with the glove on she can tell her hand is soft. Their hands linger in each other’s before Jiwoo lets out a small laugh. Jungeun smiles widely in return, and they let go of each other slowly, down to the last finger.

“I hope this won’t be the last we see of each other,” Jiwoo says before she can stop herself as her mother kisses each leaving guest on the cheek. “You have a lovely smile.” Jungeun seems surprised a bit, before nodding at her.

“I hope so as well.”

And then she’s gone, and Jiwoo’s heart just pounds loudly, filling each and every part of her body.

*

Kahei gently pats down the sheets of Jiwoo’s bed. Jiwoo just stares into the mirror, looking at herself in her white nightgown. She sways a bit from side to side, and before Kahei is done with finishing the bed, she slides across the wooden floor in her socks and flops down onto the fluffy mattress.

“Oh, Kahei. I think I’m beginning to go crazy.”

Kahei gives an amused huff, and she reaches to adjusts the pillows around the woman. “Why this time, your grace?”

Jiwoo stares at the ceiling in a daze, her mind filled with thoughts of apple-pie and bees. Jiwoo turns her head to look at Kahei, who she’s known for years. “I’m actually not sure. I,” she presses her palm to her chest, feeling for her heartbeat. “I saw a woman today.” Kahei nods as Jiwoo tries to finds the words. Jiwoo blinks, before looking back at the ceiling. “It was the most wonderful feeling when I saw her. I’ve never gazed upon anyone like her.”

“What do you think?” Jiwoo looks at one of her most trusted friends, and Kahei gives her a kind, motherly smile.

“I think you have to answer that for yourself, your grace.”

Jiwoo hears the bees.

Kahei nods as Jiwoo pouts, jumping underneath her sheets. Jiwoo doesn’t have any answers, she just has her beating heart and a name she can’t forget.

“I want to see her again.”

Jiwoo thinks of the smell of the grass from the afternoon, the sun, Jungeun’s smile, and her white gloves. “Oh, I think I might be going insane.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the quote from the summary is from the song, epic iii from the musical hadestown. a beautiful song, please give it a listen. also, this story is set in the past, but it is totally not a perfect replication of history! please don't use it as a reference for history, but i'd be down to discuss historical lesbians with you in the comments.


	2. ii.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "thank you for being there for me when I’m stupid enough to think I’d rather be alone." - history is all you left me, adam silvera.

Jiwoo is distracted. She is nervous, distracted, and a bit dreamy these days. Kahei braids her hair down her back, and before she could stop herself Jiwoo was running her fingers down the braid, hands looking for something to do. Her mother tries to chat with her during breakfast, freshly ground coffee and fresh eggs from the morning of. Jiwoo only nods, sipping the bitter drink slowly, the taste making her gag internally. Her mother always told her to hide her displeasure in front of others, ever since she was young.

“I want to go for a walk,” she tells Kahei, standing up slowly from her place in front of the mirror. Kahei seems surprised by the sudden jump up before she nods and guides Jiwoo to her closet. Jiwoo chooses one of her more free-style dresses, a daytime gown that was a soft blue and yellow. She slides her feet into white flats, the ones that felt as comfortable as socks. “Should I wear gloves?”

“Well, I-”

“You’re right. I’ll wear my lace white ones.”

Her short lace white gloves were a gift from her aunt, from her trip to Italy a while ago. They fit around her fingers perfectly, and Jiwoo fixes the braid that hangs over her left shoulder before undoing it. Kahei sighs patiently, running her fingers through Jiwoo’s hair soft. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Just as Kahei opens Jiwoo’s door, Jiwoo holds onto the older woman’s shoulder. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to wander alone for a bit.” Jiwoo doesn’t wait for a reply.

*

Jiwoo ends up in the same patch of the gardens that she found the other day. There are more flowers than there was last time, along with more bees, buzzing to and from. Jiwoo thinks of Jungeun, blinking away the sudden vision of the smile that appears in her mind. She shakes her head softly, before walking closer to the tree trunk and crouching down. She traces her fingertips along the top, slowly, before resting her arms on the trunk.

She rests her head on the pillow that was her arms and shut her eyes. She shut her eyes, and she listened to the sounds of distant birds and bees. Her heart beats in her chest, content, wonderful.

*

Jiwoo can’t stop pacing, the clock ticking on and on in the large common room. The front of her dress still had some grass on it, even after she dusted it a bit after she woke up. She rubs her gloved hand over the small bump from a bee sting on her arm, and she couldn’t stop pacing. The clock strikes two in the afternoon, and Jiwoo jumps to attention.

The floor creaks as Jiwoo starts to pace back and forth even more quickly, and she plays with her fingers as she does.

“Oh, your grace?”

Jiwoo jumps up, and can’t stop the relief that fills her body as she walks closer to the owner of the voice. Yongbok was someone who worked for their family, who gathered information and helped delivered mail when needed. She can’t stop herself, she grabs his hand in relief.

“Oh, dearest Yongbok, I’m glad to see you. I need to ask a favor of you.” Yongbok blinks at her, taking in her shining eyes, grass-stained dress and clears his throat.

“Of course, anything your grace?”

Jiwoo looks back and forth before she steps closer to the man. “I have someone I want to send a letter, could you deliver it to me when I give it to you? Will you know where to go?”

It was a silly question, but Jiwoo had dreamed about it while sleeping outside, and she wanted to make sure. Yongbok nods at her, standing straighter. “Of course, anything you ask. It is my job, after all.”

Jiwoo stares at him, hope beginning to bloom in her belly. “Okay, that’s good. That’s excellent. Thank you very much.” Jiwoo lets go of his hand and turns to walk away before turning back. “Remind me to give you a raise.”

*

Jiwoo writes the letter by the candle. She addresses it to, _Kim Jungeun, where ever you are._

*

_To Kim Jungeun,_

_Good evening, your grace. I hope this letter reaches you in good wishes._

_How are you? I do not know anything about you, but for some reason, I find myself curious about you. You have a lovely smile, a smile that will not leave my mind. If this letter reaches you, I hope you will write back and tell me about yourself. How old are you? Do you have any other family? Where do you live, what do you do?_

_I’m just a curious woman, thinking about you._

_Best wishes,_

_Kim Jiwoo._

_(Also, today I got stung by a bee. Whatever shall I do about it?)_

*

It happens a few weeks after. Jiwoo is sitting at the balcony overlooking the lake, tea placed on the tiny table next to her when Yongbok walks in. “A letter for you,” he begins, holding out a bright white envelope. “Your grace.”

Jiwoo blinks in surprise, her heart suddenly picking up speed. She nods in thanks to the man, and he excuses himself, but he’s the last thing on her mind. She slowly runs her fingers over the written words on the front. _To Kim Jiwoo, wherever you are._

She undoes the seal on the back, and slowly, with giddy fingers, pulls out the letter and reads it.

*

_To Kim Jiwoo,_

_Good afternoon, your grace. What an interesting letter you have written to me. I must say, it made me giggle quite a bit. I don’t think I have ever received such a short but charming letter, and for that I thank you. If you can admit you can’t stop thinking about my smile, I must admit something to you in return. I can’t stop thinking about the color of your hair, such a fine shade of bright brown. How did you get it such a lovely color? It fits your face, your eyes._

_I will tell you about myself when we meet again, we must. I can tell you one thing, to keep you on your toes of course. While I don’t live quite as large as yours, I live in a place that’s very noisy when it has to be, and very packed. I couldn’t even imagine a large garden like yours at my own estate._

_How are you? Are you dreaming well? I’m curious about you as well._

_Hope to see you soon, if not sooner,_

_Kim Jungeun_

_(Also, I hear that warm water is quite good for a bee sting.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story is written for me, but if you're enjoying it, i'm glad. i just want to write about love letters and lesbians in love.


	3. interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "i only hope you don't mind me."

_ To Jungeun,  _

_ I am a bit tipsy, my aunt, uncles, and mother having a little get together.  I write this in the low lighting of my room, eyes dazed, with nothing but the strong desire to see you. I hope you don’t mind me writing to you, you have somehow become one of my friends, even if we can’t see each other face to face.  _

_ When I awaken, I won’t look at this letter again, because I know I will feel embarrassed and not send it.  _

_ You do not have to respond to this letter, I only hope you don’t mind me. Me and my nonsense-filled, longing letters. _

_ Jiwoo _

_ * _

_ To Jiwoo, _

_ Every time you write to me, my heart blossoms. It’s such a nice feeling. I too feel as if you’ve become my friends. I sometimes daydream about inviting you over, drinking tea with you, going shopping with you. I wonder what kind of things you would buy, pretty jewels and silks. They suit you, I can envision it clearly.  _

_ Don’t be embarrassed about your letters, I enjoy them. You’re one of the few people who write to me so frequently and the one I write back to the most. _

_ I will always respond to your letters. You and your beautiful letters.  _

_ Always, _

_ Jungeun _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jiwoo and jungeun are in love, i hope it's clear. it's not a story spoiler, it's the truth! they love each other!


	4. iii.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope all your dreams have been kind to you.

_To Jiwoo,_

_It’s started to snow here, and the wind has become colder. Winter has arrived, I suppose. I like to sleep with my window open, even now, but I do wake up with the sniffles and a flushed nose. How’s the weather where you are? Are the bees still buzzing around, I’m curious._

_I always wait happily for your letters,_

_Always,_

_Jungeun_

_*_

_To Jungeun,_

_How is winter in the city? Is it as beautiful as it over here? Here, the snow covers everything, and if you wake up in the morning before they clear the paths, it’s like a white wonderland. Oh, I hope one day you will visit again and see it. Maybe your cheeks will turn pink as well, from the cold._

_I hope all your dreams have been kind to you. I look forward to the day I can see you again._

_Always,_

_Jiwoo_

*

Months had passed, and the letters had not stopped.

Jiwoo keeps them all in a wooden box underneath her bed, handmade from a shopkeep in the nearby town. The box was decorated with golden swirls and lines, and Jiwoo runs her fingers over the lock before opening it. A pile of letters looks up at her, all addressed to her, and Jiwoo can’t fight the smile that grows on her face, her cheeks warm.

There’s a quick knock on her door, and Jiwoo jumps, before closing the box quickly and sliding it under her bed. She pats her dress down, then pats it down one more time, before saying. “Come in.”

A staff worker opens the door, and her mother flows into the room, her yellow dress dragging on the floor. Her mother places her hands on her shoulder, kissing her on the cheeks, before patting the top of her. “Oh, my angel, how are you this day?”

“Oh, I am-”

“Oh, wonderful! I hope you remember that you have brunch with the other ladies today, and the snow makes for a beautiful landscape.”

Jiwoo blinks because she did forget. She jumps and turns to open the closet, pulling at all her dresses and gowns. “Oh, I have been so distracted lately, I forgot.”

“Don’t worry, I have a dress for you.”

The dress is a simple, long white dress with a fur coat, white feathers on the inside of her black coat. A staff member braids a crown onto her hair, the rest of her hair flowing down her classes.  

As Jiwoo is getting dressed, she thinks for a quick second, she wishes Jungeun could see her right now. Would she find her pretty, she wonders.

*

Heejin is an old friend, who doesn’t like wearing dresses as much as she likes wearing pants, and hats that make her look like a sailor captain. She stands up when Jiwoo enters the room, and hugs her, planting a kiss on her forehead. Behind her, the snow covers the ground and the lake is shining as the sunlight reflects it back.

“How are you, love?”

“I’m well these days. How about you?”

Heejin gestures for Jiwoo to sit, and pats the feather coat, smiling at her. “You’re always so dressed up for these things, Jiwoo. What’s with this coat?”

“Why, I like it! My uncle got it for me from Milan, and I’ve always wanted to visit it.”

Heejin smiles at her, placing one cheek in her gloved hand. “It always makes me envious hearing about all the gifts you receive.” Jiwoo smiles, taking hold of one of Heejin’s hand and inspecting the crystal ring on her thumb.

“What about this wonderful ring, where’d you get this from?”

Heejin smiles, taking her hand back and playing with the ring. “It’s from a friend.”

Jiwoo smiles back at her, and before she speaks again, the door opens. Sooyoung walks into the room, her own dress long and pretty, and she flashes a smile and keeps walking. “Oh, am I a bit late?”

Sooyoung was always a bit late because she likes greeting everybody last and leaving early. Jiwoo and Heejin smile at each other knowingly as Sooyoung presses a kiss to both of their cheeks, before sitting. Heejin pours warm tea into both of their cups, and Sooyoung picks up and sips the drink. There’s a slight breeze, and it blows towards them. Jiwoo feels a sneeze build in her nose as Heejin and Sooyoung being to speak to each other.

All of a sudden, Sooyoung places a hand on Jiwoo’s shoulder and squeezes. “Why, Jiwoo, you look absolutely pink.”

“Um, I...Excuse me?”

“It’s might be from the cold.”

Sooyoung turns to Heejin and laughs, before shaking her head. “No, this is something else. This is different. Jiwoo, are you thinking about love these days?”

Now Jiwoo feels her cheeks really heat up. She blinks, Heejin blinks, Sooyoung blinks, before she brings up her hands to her cheeks and shuts her eyes. She hears Sooyoung squeal, Heejin laugh.

“Maye I am a bit...distracted.”

“Why, only natural of course, love will do that to you,” Sooyoung sighs, looking out towards the lake longingly. “Why I wish I could fall in love,” she lets out another dramatic sigh before turning towards Jiwoo again. “Who is the lucky other, do I know them? I probably do, my family always knows everyone.”

Jiwoo sniffs, if she looks she can see her nose is red from the wind. “I’d prefer to keep it to myself. It’s honestly just a one-sided thing, well I…”

Jiwoo thinks of her box of letters.

“I don’t know.”

*

As she prepares for bed, running her fingers through her hair as she stares into the mirror, there is a knock on her door. It’s late, and usually, no one knocks at this time, so she stands and opens the door. Kahei is smiling at her, and Jiwoo tilts her head curiously, before letting the woman slip inside.

“I was about to drift off into the night,” Jiwoo jokes, sitting on the edge of her bed. Kahei lets out a small giggle at that before she takes something out of the pocket of her apron and presents it to Jiwoo.

“A letter,” she teases. Jiwoo can’t hold back her eagerness as she takes the letter while Kahei speaks. “Yongbok had duties from your mother today, so he was not able to give it to you on time.”

How could there be a letter, Jiwoo hadn’t expected such a fast response. All these months she’s been replying to Jungeun and she’s learned the other woman likes to take her time, leave her on her toes. Jiwoo blinks up at Kahei, before carefully opening, heart beating loudly in her chest.

_Jiwoo,_

_How are you doing darling? I know you weren’t expecting such a quick response, but circumstances changed so fast I had to write to you as soon as I was able. You see, my family has arranged for me to have a trip to Paris, and I found that I would be rather lonely if I went so far by myself. Will you come with me?_

_I fear by the time you read this I might be on my way, but I trust you to find me, wherever you are. If anything, I shall be staying near The Grand Hotel by the water, if you need a hint._

_I look forward to seeing you._

_Yours,_

_Jungeun_

“Well?”

Jiwoo looks over each and every word again before her eyes look at up Kahei. If Jiwoo was looking in a mirror, she would have been able to see how flushed she looked, how pink her cheeks became, how her eyes started to shine. Jiwoo licks her lips and lets out a dreamy sigh.

“I need to make my way to Paris.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: just writes everything i love about girls being in love.  
> oh my gosh, they're going to paris! what's next they get married?


	5. iv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "eros shook my mind like a mountain wind falling on oak trees." - sappho, the poet.

Jiwoo has never gotten seasick before, but then she supposes it because she’s never had to travel so far by boat before. She preferred the train, likes the rumble of the tracks as it moves, and it didn’t leave her feeling dizzy after a few hours. 

She fans herself with her one gloved hand as she pulls on her heavy luggage with another, stepping onto the dock. There are people cheering and clapping at each other in greeting, and Jiwoo has come alone. She had rushed out of her estate a few days ago, with no staff to help her, in a flushed hurry. She only hoped she packed enough for this trip, but she had enough money to buy things if needed.

As she walked along the streets, she found herself admiring the buildings, the way they were structured. They were painted such faint yellows and greens, white and pink, that she found herself stopping in front of them, looking up. She wishes she could take a photo, but a camera was an expensive investment, and her mother didn’t feel like spending money on that when she could spend money on other things, like new teacups. 

As she wanders, Jiwoo perks up as she hears the rushing of water, and before she can stop herself she’s running. The sun reflects in the body of water, as people stand on the barrier that stops anyone from falling in, looking down at it. Jiwoo takes in all in, and she can’t resist, she laughs loudly, taking off her hat. Paris is a bit warmer than her home, but she can still see the remains of melting snow. 

It’s beautiful, her heart beats.

*

She wanders into the large hotel, looking up at the large high ceiling. There’s a beautiful painting that decorates the top, one that knows is of a goddess, though she can’t remember the name. There’s a glass chandelier that hangs in the middle, and it creates a soft glow that bounces off the pale green walls. She bumps into a staff worker, who just smiles at her when she apologizes and walks away.

She walks up to the counter, and before she can blink there’s a smiling woman in front of her, shooting rapid french at her. Now, Jiwoo’s understanding of the language is limited, she was still learning after all, so when she blinks back at the woman, the woman understands that Jiwoo wouldn’t be able to keep up with her. As the woman lets out a hum, Jiwoo clears her throat and tries her best.

“ _ Um, Jungeun, Kim, room?” _

There’s a moment’s pause before the woman claps in understanding and calls the staff over. Before she knows it, someone is swooping in to take her bags and escort her to the room. It’s a few floors up, and the let her in. 

When she enters and is left alone just as quick, the room is empty. The window is open, and the curtain flows as the wind creates a gentle breeze. Suddenly, it hits Jiwoo. She’s sleepy, really sleepy. She slides off her shoes and jumps face first into bed, not even bothering to change into a lighter dress. She stares up at the ceiling, thinks of Jungeun. She thinks of Jungeun, bees, and the smell of flowers.

She falls asleep to the sound of water, and to the feeling soft wind.

*

Someone is shaking her gently.

Jiwoo lets out a soft groan, blinking her eyes slowly. The window is closed now, and she rubs her eyes, covering her mouth as her vision clears. Jungeun stands over her, looking at her with a wide smile, and lets out a laugh when Jiwoo’s eyes stretched wide in shock. Jiwoo feels her heart suddenly explode, and she leaps up, wrapping Jungeun in a tight hug. 

“Oh, I,” Jungeun laughs as they both fall back towards the bed, this makes Jiwoo laugh too. Jungeun leans back, covering her mouth that was painted a faint pink with her gloved hand as Jiwoo smiles up at her. They just look at each other for a moment, before Jungeun slowly brings up her hand and taps the tip of Jiwoo’s nose. 

“Did you rest well?”

Jiwoo nods slowly, a bit dazed, the feeling of Jungeun’s finger, as light as a feather, still on her nose. 

“Are you feeling well?”

“Yes,” Jiwoo whispers for some reason.  _ Better than ever, now that you’re here. _ She doesn’t finish her sentence, just smiles up at Jungeun with all her teeth and sleepy eyes. 

*

Jungeun brings them both down to the restaurant in the hotel, sitting them near the window that looks out into the water. It’s chilly, and for some reason, Jungeun keeps laughing to herself whenever Jiwoo shivers, rubbing her arms. 

“It’s not funny,” Jiwoo pouts her lips, something her mother would scold her for. “I’m quite cold right now.” Jungeun leans her chin on her palm and tilts her head slightly towards the right, Jiwoo’s eyes following her. 

“What,” Jiwoo suddenly feels embarrassed, looking down at the table as the staff sets down glasses filled with champagne in front of them. “Is there something on my face?”

“No,” Jungeun lets out an amused voice, dropping her hand down before picking up the glass. Jiwoo does the same. “I just like looking at you. I think you’re interesting.” 

Jiwoo feels her cheeks heat up before she takes a slow, long sip. 

*

Jungeun is breathing slowly next to her, and Jiwoo can’t sleep. Her mind is all dizzy because of the drinks they had, and she keeps opening her eyes after shutting them. She shifts lightly, turning onto her side, in order to not wake Jungeun up, and looks at her face, studying it. 

Jiwoo feels a wave of sleepiness wash over her, and her last thought before she rests is that if one day they could fall asleep holding hands.

*

Jiwoo wakes up with a faint headache, to the sounds of a loud breeze and curtains moving back and forth strongly. She blinks slowly, before she rubs her forehead with her fingers, groaning. 

“Oh, good morning,” a husky voice calls out to her, amused. Jiwoo feels her heart speed up a bit before she turns her head. Jungeun is standing by the window in her nightgown, her hair messy, flying in front of her face. Jiwoo can’t stop the redness that fills her cheeks, but she sits up anyway, even if it makes her head spin. 

Jungeun walks back over to the bed (they shared it, Jiwoo remembers now), and sinks on her knees onto the mattress. The breeze keeps blowing, and Jiwoo raises her hands up to cover her mouth as a smile grows. “I think I had too much to drink last night.”

They both start laughing, falling back towards the pillows. 

*

Jiwoo holds back a smile when Jungeun holds out her own arm for Jiwoo to hold and instead asks her “How many times have you come to Paris? You seem to know your way around.” 

Jungeun hums as Jiwoo steps a bit closer to her as they walk, different people stepping out of their way as they slowly walk along the path. “My mother loves to frequently visit around here, she always finds such unique gems and antiques whenever she visits,” They both stop at the side of the road as a large carriage moves past them, the gentlemen nodding his head in a greeting towards both of them before moving along. “I think when I was around seven is when I visited Paris the first time before she took me to Italy.” 

“Wow,’ Jiwoo breathes, and Jungeun turns to look at her before giving a soft laugh from the awed look on Jiwoo’s face. Jiwoo shakes her head as they start walking again, getting into a more crowded area of the town. “I didn’t really get to travel much, only going with my mother to her gatherings sometimes, and we didn’t ever use a ship or anything. I’m envious.” 

“So when you were coming here, that was your first time on a ship?”

“Yes,” Jiwoo feels a blush working it’s way up to her face. She notices that Jungeun’s eyes seem to sparkle a bit, maybe because of her admission. 

“And you weren’t scared at all, or worried? Why?”

“Because,” Jiwoo starts as they both slow down a little as they walk, before stopping. Jiwoo turns her entire body towards Jungeun, suddenly realizing how close they were exactly. Her heart was beating a little faster than normal now, and she can’t really control it. “I knew I was going to be able to see you at the end of the voyage, and I held onto that thought.”

There was a brief silence, Jiwoo’s cheeks red, Jungeun’s cheeks a light pink. The snow had begun to fall softly, slowly, Jiwoo felt it touch the tip of her nose. Jungeun smiles wide with all her teeth, laughing a bit loudly. 

“Wow, you’re a bit of a charmer aren’t you?”

Jiwoo can’t stop her own smile as well, as she looks down to the ground to both of their shoes. “Maybe,” She whispers. 

Then she thinks,  _ ‘Just for you.’  _

*

Jiwoo thinks about it when she’s in the shop. Jungeun had wandered off to look at shoes for a bit, and that’s when Jiwoo had spotted it. A shining necklace, covered in many different red stones, more that Jiwoo has ever seen. She’s not even sure if her own mother had something so bright. The gems twinkle and Jiwoo thinks of Jungeun, the wind blowing her hair.

“How much?” she whispers quietly as a worker comes up to her. 

She won’t give the necklace to Jungeun just yet. It sits in her bags later, and every time she thinks of it, her cheeks turn pink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and then chuulip had many gay dates in paris but because they're young they don't realize they're dates. 
> 
> sorry for the wait. my semester ended, then i got really lazy. but i'm slowly gaining motivation back, so here i am. i have to be honest this chapter was prepared for months, but i didn't want to post until i started part v, so i opened a doc, wrote a sentence, and here we are. i'm slowly drafting part v so who knows when it will be posted.
> 
> i have a twitter now, so come talk to me if you want. @wlwpops | also, if you're wondering how much more slow burn and gayer can it get, yes.


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